It’s honestly embarrassing that women spend time thinking about this stuff. I’m so disappointed to read this article, the point seems to be recycled every few months, the point made but no closure. Sure, if you’re focused on celebrities, if you’re vain, your self esteem will be crap. But if you’re focused on those things - get over yourself! Especially in late stage capitalism - you need a reality check if you’re focused on the superficial. Put down the phone & go help a stranger, the environment, a cause ….broaden your scope.
Why do you people say ‘mere mortals’ ?! Can you not see this false hierarchy of wealth & ‘youth’ & how ridiculous it is & be proud to see the superficial & start looking at substance over surface? What brilliant art or intellect has Demi, Sienna or …given? Do you ever think “what was Magaret Atwood wearing last week” or “What does Angela Davis do for skincare?!” …..why so focused on the superficial?! It’s holding feminism back, it’s holding everything back to be still concerned with this at over 40 years of age.
Thank you Caz for highlighting the real issue 👏🏽 I can’t see how we are progressing when looks loom larger than achievements, ethics, intellect and all other such good stuff.
Thank you Holly for putting into such clear words the thoughts I have been trying to express for quite a while. Even we mere mortals are sometimes told (for example) "I don't believe you are 69! You don't look it - you look amazing". For a start - why is that usually a compliment? (I'd rather be told that I act/have the outlook/move like someone much younger.) And how exactly should a person look at 69? I have seen 40 year olds who look 50. If you put a row of 69 year olds together, I'll bet they would all appear to be different ages. So the media will give space to the looks (and maybe options) of older women - as look as they don't look old. *sigh* We have a long way to go. (And yes, I'm 69)
This is so true. I am working on not caring about what I look like or how old I look so much. I don't want to be part of the problem, but these relentless messages have a way of worming their way in!
Just last night, a good friend showed me a photo of his mother - "Look at her! You would never think she was 82 when this was taken!". I said I didn't care about her age - she was very very stylish and beautiful. Not 'beautiful for 82' but simply beautiful. I'm also weary of messages constantly exhorting us to "live our best life" and "be the best you that you can be". It's exhausting. Some days, I'm happy to be living at all, without having to wonder if this is as good as it gets. How do you know when you are living your best life? Isn't there always room for improvement? 'Reach your full potential'? What if you've reached your limits already and your life is still crap? I don't care how old I look, but I love to express myself in what I wear. I take the trouble to look my best as a way of showing my respect for the people I know and meet. I admit it - as women age, it is easy to feel invisible - because to many people, you are invisible. I insist on being 'seen'. Over the past 4 years, I have taken about eight terms of Burlesque, and performed twice (in a group). My last public performance was a comedy routine with about a dozen other people. I was the oldest by more than 30 years. I can do 'funny' at my age, but baulk at trying to appear sexy because I don't want to look ridiculous. Yet a man my age was voted Sexiest Man Alive - and no one sniggered. So many taboos still to be torn down!
There comes a point where you have to acknowledge that this sort of Hollywood beauty and glamour is in a category unattainable for us mere mortals. I mean we could have personal trainers whipping us into shape at 5am every day, dermatologists resurfacing our skin every 6 months, the very best plastic surgeons sucking the fat out of our tummies and injecting it into our faces before nipping and tucking any loose flesh…but few of us have the bank balance, the motivation or the pain tolerance to support it. For every Demi Moore there are dozens of others who’ve gone too far, over plumped their lips and cheeks and don’t have Demi’s restraint, taste and the right genes to provide that lustrous hair and body shape in the first place. I think Helen Mirren is a far more realistic version of a beautiful older woman that we can aspire to emulate.
It’s honestly embarrassing that women spend time thinking about this stuff. I’m so disappointed to read this article, the point seems to be recycled every few months, the point made but no closure. Sure, if you’re focused on celebrities, if you’re vain, your self esteem will be crap. But if you’re focused on those things - get over yourself! Especially in late stage capitalism - you need a reality check if you’re focused on the superficial. Put down the phone & go help a stranger, the environment, a cause ….broaden your scope.
Fair point.
Why do you people say ‘mere mortals’ ?! Can you not see this false hierarchy of wealth & ‘youth’ & how ridiculous it is & be proud to see the superficial & start looking at substance over surface? What brilliant art or intellect has Demi, Sienna or …given? Do you ever think “what was Magaret Atwood wearing last week” or “What does Angela Davis do for skincare?!” …..why so focused on the superficial?! It’s holding feminism back, it’s holding everything back to be still concerned with this at over 40 years of age.
I actually agree with you entirely. I wish it didn't suck up so much oxygen and I am part of the problem at times, no question.
Thank you Caz for highlighting the real issue 👏🏽 I can’t see how we are progressing when looks loom larger than achievements, ethics, intellect and all other such good stuff.
Thank you Holly for putting into such clear words the thoughts I have been trying to express for quite a while. Even we mere mortals are sometimes told (for example) "I don't believe you are 69! You don't look it - you look amazing". For a start - why is that usually a compliment? (I'd rather be told that I act/have the outlook/move like someone much younger.) And how exactly should a person look at 69? I have seen 40 year olds who look 50. If you put a row of 69 year olds together, I'll bet they would all appear to be different ages. So the media will give space to the looks (and maybe options) of older women - as look as they don't look old. *sigh* We have a long way to go. (And yes, I'm 69)
This is so true. I am working on not caring about what I look like or how old I look so much. I don't want to be part of the problem, but these relentless messages have a way of worming their way in!
Just last night, a good friend showed me a photo of his mother - "Look at her! You would never think she was 82 when this was taken!". I said I didn't care about her age - she was very very stylish and beautiful. Not 'beautiful for 82' but simply beautiful. I'm also weary of messages constantly exhorting us to "live our best life" and "be the best you that you can be". It's exhausting. Some days, I'm happy to be living at all, without having to wonder if this is as good as it gets. How do you know when you are living your best life? Isn't there always room for improvement? 'Reach your full potential'? What if you've reached your limits already and your life is still crap? I don't care how old I look, but I love to express myself in what I wear. I take the trouble to look my best as a way of showing my respect for the people I know and meet. I admit it - as women age, it is easy to feel invisible - because to many people, you are invisible. I insist on being 'seen'. Over the past 4 years, I have taken about eight terms of Burlesque, and performed twice (in a group). My last public performance was a comedy routine with about a dozen other people. I was the oldest by more than 30 years. I can do 'funny' at my age, but baulk at trying to appear sexy because I don't want to look ridiculous. Yet a man my age was voted Sexiest Man Alive - and no one sniggered. So many taboos still to be torn down!
There comes a point where you have to acknowledge that this sort of Hollywood beauty and glamour is in a category unattainable for us mere mortals. I mean we could have personal trainers whipping us into shape at 5am every day, dermatologists resurfacing our skin every 6 months, the very best plastic surgeons sucking the fat out of our tummies and injecting it into our faces before nipping and tucking any loose flesh…but few of us have the bank balance, the motivation or the pain tolerance to support it. For every Demi Moore there are dozens of others who’ve gone too far, over plumped their lips and cheeks and don’t have Demi’s restraint, taste and the right genes to provide that lustrous hair and body shape in the first place. I think Helen Mirren is a far more realistic version of a beautiful older woman that we can aspire to emulate.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Hear hear!!